Mallu Cafe Philadelphia Review
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Address: Mallu Cafe 10181 Verree Road Philadelphia, PA 19116 Other Philadelphia Indian Restaurants |
 De Kitchun Veri Bizi Duday |
Mallu Cafe Philadelphia - Soree Sir, De Kitchun Veri Bizi Duday; Nice Food
Of the scores of Indian restaurants in the U.S. that we’ve sanctified with our presence, Mallu Cafe (a restaurant specializing in Kerala cuisine) on Verree Road in Philadelphia is easily the most amusing and an endearing one too.
Almost each time we’d try to order a Kerala specialty, our friendly, sweetie pie, harried waiter Anoop, who hails from Thodupuzha near Kochi, would extend a sheepish smile and decline our request.
Here’s a snapshot of our conversation:
SI: We’d like to have the Weekend Thali.
Anoop (Mallu Cafe waiter): Soree sir, de kitchun veri bizi duday.
SI: We’d like to have Appam.
Anoop: Soree sir, de kitchun veri bizi duday.
SI: We’d like to have Theeyal.
Anoop: Soree sir, de kitchun veri bizi duday.
SI: We’d like to have Kadale Curry.
Anoop: Soree sir, de kitchun veri bizi duday.
SI: We’d like to have Semiya Payasam.
Anoop: Soree sir, de kitchun veri bizi duday.
SI: We’d like to have Fruit Salad.
Anoop: Soree sir, de kitchun veri bizi duday.
Mallu Challenge
Guess what?Although we have a short fuse, we never got irritated with de kitchun veri bizi duday refrain.
We swear. Not in the slightest.
Not at Anoop.
And certainly not at Mallu Cafe, a hole in the wall operation that seemed to be doing a brisk business, both with takeout orders and the crowd inside.
We just found it too hilarious for words.
Mallu Cafe has a rundown look inside with just four booths and a couple of tables.
Now, we’re throwing down a challenge to all ye schmucks.
Find a funnier and nicer Indian restaurant in Philadelphia and we’ll take you out for dinner and pick up the tab as well.
Dare to pick up the gauntlet?
Persistence Pays, Really
Hey, whatever may be our follies, no one’s ever charged us with not being persistent enough. Right?So despite the string of de kitchun veri bizi duday rebuffs we bravely soldiered on with Anoop in hopes of breaching the rock solid fortress of his veri bizi kitchun.
Perhaps weary of the SI fusillade on the battered citadel and sensing that further resistance was futile, Anoop waved the white flag and conceded to some of our requests for Kerala specialties like Avial, Parathas and Chicken Varatharacha.
Kerala Paratas are a must, of course. And we did not hesitate one nanosecond before ordering them at Mallu Cafe.
The multi-layered Kerala Paratas (2 for $1.99) landed on our table hot and, boy, were they tasty.
How can you not order Avial, the much acclaimed Kerala vegetables medley, and still lay claim to a sane mind.
Since we’ve always prided ourselves on our sanity, the hordes of naysayers notwithstanding, we eagerly sought what the bad photocopy of Mallu Cafe’s menu describes as Tropical Vegetables Cooked in Coconut Sauce. In other words, Avial ($6.95).
Avial was thick in texture, not the yellowish gravy-ish kind you get at other places, say like at Uduppi Dosa House in nearby Bensalem.
While Mallu Cafe’s Avial was delicious, we were a wee bit disappointed because our palate has calcified to spicier versions and won’t settle for less.
Ritha and Pickle, Bring Ritha on
Since we were famished, we also asked for a Vegetable Biryani.The bad photocopy of the menu promised that the Biryani would come with Ritha and Pickle on the side.
‘Ritha and Pickle’ on the side with their hot hint of mischief sounded jolly exciting given that Mallu girls ooze sex appeal and have a won’t-you-come-into-my-boudoir-and sample-my-wares look forever pasted on their faces.
As we conjured fantasies of a Renjitha-like Ritha coming out bearing a heaving bosom, a sweating face and a steaming Biryani with Hot Pickle, our Biryani arrived with, sob, sob, Anoop bearing the plate.
Alas,our Ritha had morphed into Raitha in the short distance from the kitchen to the dining room.
Our libido cooled, we consoled ourselves by stuffing big heaps of the delicious Biryani with the Pickle and Raitha (cold substitute for the hot Ritha) into our mouths.
Varatharacha Nirvana
What’s a meal without some meat on the side?
So we plumped for the Chicken Varatharacha Curry.
Yes, we know it’s impossible for anyone born outside God’s Own Country to pronounce Varatharacha but take our advice and just say voluptuous.